Moving a parent to memory care or an adult family home can be a difficult decision for families, but it’s often the best choice. The transition can be challenging initially, though your mom or dad will eventually become accustomed to the routines, sights, and sounds of their new residence.
In our experience as Care Managers, our clients who are living with a progressive condition such as Alzheimer’s or another dementia often do much better once they’ve made the move. Staff are adept at welcoming, orienting, and comforting new residents.
Facilitating a successful transition to a memory care community takes forethought and planning. Here are a few ideas to make the change easier and the transition a success:
Family should be consistent, concise about the move in conversation with your parent. Everyone involved in the decision and the move should have the same simple though consistent, reassuring response. “Mom, we love you and want you to be comfortable and safe.” Or “Dad, you’re such a social person, and your new home offers lots of great activities AND they have incredible food!”
Pack belongings when your parent isn’t around. Plan to have someone take your loved one out for a meal and a little shopping, or while they are at an appointment, when you pack the essentials and some items that will make them feel at home in their new place.
Set up their room in a welcoming way. Be sure to including familiar clothes in the closet and dresser. Comforting, meaningful items such as their favorite easy chair and lap blanket, bedspread, bath towels, lotion and soap, pictures, books, and magazines can all say “Home.”
Understand that the change will take time. Change is difficult for all of us. For someone living with cognitive change, it can be more complex. But with time it will get better, and your parent will soon feel at home in their new residence.
As our colleague Wendy Nathan shares in this segment, don’t be shy about engaging in conversation with your parent once they’ve moved and are questioning the change. Saying “I want to go home” is common. In response, you can say “You really want to go home. Tell me what your home is like.” Then listen. Just listen. This will bring comfort, and they’ll know that they’re being heard.
Time to begin planning for a move? We have the knowledge and expertise to help guide the journey. Click here to schedule a free, get-acquainted call with one of our Certified Care Managers.
You may also enjoy this online course we created — Should I Move Mom? – to help you further understand the options and build confidence in helping an older loved one to move to a retirement community or stay at home.
This is part of a long conversation between our colleague Wendy Nathan, a Certified Care Manager here at Aging Wisdom, and Sandra Cook, Regional VP of Sales, Aegis Living.