The decision to move someone in your care to memory care or an adult family home can be difficult. However, it’s often the best choice when daily caregiving responsibilities begin to impact the safety and health of either the person living with dementia and/or their primary caregiver, be it a spouse, partner, or adult child.
The transition can be challenging initially. As the primary caregiver, you will likely experience feelings of grief and guilt. It’s also not uncommon to second guess your decision. This is normal. Remember that your well-being is as just important as that of the person in your care. And your loved one will go through their own changes. But they will eventually become accustomed to the routines, sights, and sounds of their new residence. Give it time.
In our experience as Care Managers, clients who are living with a progressive condition such as Alzheimer’s or another dementia often do much better once they’ve made the move.
Staff are adept at welcoming, orienting, engaging, and comforting new residents.
Facilitating a successful transition to a memory care community or adult family home takes forethought and planning. Here are a few ideas to help make the change easier and the transition a success:
- Family should be consistent, concise about the move in conversation. Everyone involved in the decision and the move should have the same simple though consistent, reassuring response. “Mom, we love you and want you to be comfortable and safe.” Or “Charlie, you’re such a social person, and your new home offers lots of great activities AND they have incredible food!”
- Pack belongings when the person in your care isn’t around. Plan to have someone take your loved one out for a meal, a little shopping, or while they are at an appointment when you pack the essentials and some items that will make them feel at home in their new place.
- Set up their room in a welcoming way. Be sure to including familiar clothes in the closet and dresser. Comforting, meaningful items such as their favorite easy chair and lap blanket, bedspread, bath towels, lotion and soap, pictures, books, and magazines can all say “Home.”
- Understand that the change will take time. Change is difficult for all of us. For someone living with cognitive change, it can be more complex. But with time it will get better, and they will soon feel at home in their new residence.
As our colleague Wendy Nathan reminds us, don’t be shy about engaging in conversation with your loved one once they’ve moved and are questioning the change. “I want to go home” is commonly expressed by someone who has recently moved and is living with cognitive change. Respond with “You really want to go home. Tell me what your home is like.” Then listen. Be still and listen. This will bring comfort, and they’ll know that they’re being heard.
Time to begin planning for a move? We have the knowledge and expertise to help guide the journey. Click here to schedule a free, get-acquainted call with one of our Certified Care Managers.
You may also enjoy this online course we created — Should I Move Mom? – to help you further understand the options and build confidence in helping a loved one to move to a retirement community or stay at home.
