Memorial Day weekend is often the unofficial kickoff to summer celebrations, graduations, weddings, and reunions. As you make plans for these special gatherings, it a perfect opportunity to adapt favorite traditions and create new ones. To minimize anxiety and encourage inclusive, more enjoyable gatherings for all, a little advance planning can go a long way to ensure everyone has a wonderful time.
For the person in your care who is living with Alzheimer’s or another dementia, here are a few tips to help make celebrations more inclusive:
Focus on time together. Adjust and set expectations ahead of the gathering. Caregiving responsibilities can take a toll. Invite those attending to a conversation ahead of time. Be honest about any limitations or needs, such as keeping a daily routine, or making modifications to plans to minimize holiday stress.
Let guests know what to expect. If the person in your care is in the early stages of dementia, it’s likely family and friends won’t notice any changes. The person with middle- or late-stage dementia may have trouble following conversations. They may repeat themselves. Family can help with communication by being patient, not interrupting or correcting, and giving the person time to finish their thoughts.
Make sure visitors understand that changes in behavior and memory are caused by the disability and not the person. Understanding, acceptance, and patience go a long way.
Be gentle and kind with yourself. This is often the hardest step. Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. If you’ve always had a large group at your home, consider having only a few guests for a simple meal. Let others participate by having a potluck dinner or ask them to host at their home. This is the time to be especially good to YOU! This is also a great time to practice saying “No” and pace yourself.
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Involve the person with dementia. Focus on activities, traditions, and reminiscence that are meaningful to the person living with dementia. As abilities allow, invite them to help decorate, plan the menu, prepare food, select music, and set the table. Do they to love fish, swim, play board or card games, horseshoes, or croquette? Think of how you can modify these activities to accommodate their abilities if traditional approaches jeopardize safety or are too involved.
Pace activities and engagement. Be mindful of what your loved one participates in if a long gathering would be too overwhelming. For example, maybe they need more structure and can join the gathering for just the cookout. If it’s a wedding and they love to dance, make sure to stay for some music and a couple dances after the meal, but not stay for the entire reception.
Maintain as normal a routine as possible. Respecting a normal routine will help keep any gathering from becoming overly
stressful or confusing. Plan time for breaks and rest. Stay hydrated and out of the direct sun and heat.
Make sure to have favorites at the ready such a cold beverage, chilled fruit, topics of conversation, and music. All these familiar favorites can bring comfort and build enjoyment into the celebration. Have fun with this, make your own rules!
Use the buddy system. Arrange ahead for family and friends to take turns being the buddy to the person in your care. This is a great way to encourage one-on-one time as well as to shield the individual with dementia from distress. It also gives the primary caregiver a break.
By setting realistic expectations, involving others, maintaining a routine, and keeping activities and traditions to a select few, you can ensure a low stress, inclusive, and successful get together. Remember that social gatherings, at their best, are a time to enjoy one another’s company.
Whatever brings you together this summer, taking time to make sure guests of all ages are included and safe helps the older adult in your care stay socially engaged and enjoy a better quality of life.
Concerned about how to plan for inclusive and welcoming family gatherings and celebrations? Not sure how best to move forward. We can help. Click here to schedule a get-acquainted call with us today.
