My friend Betsy Fitzgerald, care partner to a lung transplant survivor with metastatic cancer, recently shared an update: “I’ve been mending my life, Kintsugi, patching broken pieces together. It is not easy; some pieces are sharp edged, some not quite fitting, some missing. We do the best we can.”
Her role as a care partner comes with recognizing the need for self-care. And part of self-care has been acknowledging her need for “patching,” hence the Kintsugi reference.
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form that teaches us to repair the broken pieces, making us stronger and more resilient than before. It can symbolize hope, healing, and lead to a new kind of beauty. How might we apply the art of Kintsugi to the caregiver journey?
Caring for another person takes patience, heart, and strength. Between juggling appointments, medication management, and providing emotional, mental, and physical support, you may find yourself depleted.
What we don’t always realize is how important it is to care for ourselves as we care for another. Caregiver stress is real. If left unchecked, it can lead to serious health consequences. Symptoms of chronic stress associated with burnout often show up in several ways.
Physical symptoms can include:
- Fatigue
- Headaches
- Sleep problems
- High blood pressure
- Increased pain (especially in the neck and back)
- A worsening of already existing medical problems
Caregiver Burnout: Is Your Flame About the Fizzle?
Family caregivers frequently report experiencing high levels of stress and too much stress can be harmful to both of you. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to take another step forward? You may be experiencing burnout. Take this quiz to find out if your flame is about to fizzle.
Addressing Stress and Burnout
Buddhist teacher and cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project Frank Ostaseski shares these words for wisdom for caregivers: “… find a place to rest in the middle of things… We often think of rest as something that will come when everything else is complete, like when we go on a holiday or when our work is done. We imagine that we can only find rest by changing the conditions of our life. But it is possible to discover rest right in the middle of chaos. It is experienced when we bring our full attention, without distraction to this moment, to this activity. This place of rest is always available. We need only turn toward it.”
Here’s how to begin repairing the broken pieces:
Get Help. Caregiving is physically, emotionally and mentally demanding. Doing everything by yourself will leave you exhausted. Seek the support of family, friends and other caregivers. An Aging Life Care expert can also assist with care planning and support.
Use Relaxation Techniques. They really work! There are several simple techniques that can help relieve stress. Find what works best for you: visualization, meditation, breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation.
Get Moving. Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Even 10 minutes of exercise a day can help. Take a walk, garden, dance, even marching in place.
Make Time for Yourself. As a caregiver, it’s hard to find time for yourself, but staying connected to friends, family and activities that you love is important. Our team can help direct you to caregiver respite programs, companionship care, and other supports that free you to carve out time for yourself and to re-energize.
Become an Educated Caregiver. If you are caring for someone with dementia, new caregiving skills may be necessary as the disease progresses. Aging Wisdom can provide coaching, as well as connect you to programs to help you better understand and cope with changes that often accompany Alzheimer’s and other dementias.
Take Care of Yourself. Staying healthy will help you be a better caregiver. Visit your doctor regularly. Replenish with good nutrition, hydration, and find ways to rest.
Seeking resources and strategies to help you find your footing and reclaim your well-being as a family care partner? We can help! Click here to schedule a get-acquainted call.
