Caring for an older adult living with cognitive or health changes can be physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially challenging. Due to the broad range of responsibilities that can be required of family caregivers, self-care is essential.
While there are many ways to care for yourself, I’ve found that attending a caregiver support group is an often-overlooked part of a healthy self-care plan.
For ten years, I facilitated a support group for young adults who have a parent living with Younger-Onset Alzheimer’s disease. Younger-Onset Alzheimer’s is diagnosed when symptoms occur before the age of 65. The challenges these families have are different since the disease often occurs while the person with the diagnosis is still working or raising kids.
The group I facilitated may have been unique in their situation, yet participants’ experiences and emotions are common to most family caregivers, regardless of circumstance, such as:
- feelings of being overwhelmed
- struggles with problem solving
- fatigue or tiredness
- grief
- sometimes, depression
- financial worries
- monotony
- anger
- disappointment
- isolation
Support groups can be essential self-care
Those who did eventually find a group wondered why they waited so long to attend. Their preconceived ideas included notions that people just sat around complaining about things they can do nothing about. Or they assumed that talking about your troubles won’t help, so why bother when there are so many other things to do!
A support group, however, soon becomes a safe place to share and work through these emotions in a healthy way, and find reassurance, comfort, practical advice, and humor (an essential as a caregiver).
Where a support group’s gifts become most evident is in their understanding of your experiences as a caregiver. Here you find genuine validation, true empathy of the grief, loss, and pain you may be experiencing. Most individuals in the group are either going through what you are or have been there themselves. You quickly discover you are not alone!
The culture of a support group is one of trust. The group is a safe place for participants to share fears, worries, frustrations, and sadness and to be understood by others experiencing similar feelings. It’s also a place to celebrate milestones, joys, awareness, achievements. The group can also help families prepare for what’s to come.
As a support group facilitator, I was amazed at how participants managed the complexities of their lives. I was in awe of how each participant had come to develop effective, healthy coping strategies, problem solving methods, as well as their willingness to listen and offer just the right advice at just the right moment.
Even though I’m an Aging Life Care Professional, I was not the knowledge expert when we would meet — the members of the group were. Their experiences were their teachers. They graciously and generously share insights, ideas, resources, and offer practical suggestions. It works!
We all need community, connection
In my work as an Aging Life Care Professional, I see how caregiving can be a lonely, isolating endeavor. Often, the friends and family of clients will fall away following a diagnosis or as a health condition becomes more complex.
People who truly understand what you are experiencing can be found in a support group. Support group participation is something we encourage, and it’s a beautiful way to build a community of support.
A support group participant put it best when asked to reflect on her experiences: “When my husband was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, we were both devasted. The physician who gave the diagnosis basically patted us on the hands, wrote a prescription for Namenda and said, ‘I’ll see you back in my office in 6 months.’ That was it! No condolences. No resources. No referrals. It was the loneliest time in my life.
“I had no idea where to turn, what to do, how to move forward. It’s obvious now that my husband was in a progressive cognitive decline. He was retired, but now we needed to look at things like driving, financial decision-making, day-to-day concerns. Luckily, I found out about a support group through a friend whose husband also has Alzheimer’s.
“The group was a lifeline and a life-changer. I encourage everyone who is caring for a loved one to find a group. No one understands you like those in the group. And no one judges you. There is nothing but genuine concern, love and good counsel. If feels so good to know that I am not alone in this!”
Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Struggling with your journey as a family caregiver? We can help! Schedule a free get-acquainted call with us today.
Resources
- Find an Aging Life Care Expert to help you navigate caring for a family member, friend or yourself and implementing a self-care plan
- Burnout Can Happen to Anyone by Dr. Jullie Gray
- Support Groups: Make connections, get help – from Mayo Clinic staff
- Find an In-person Alzheimer’s Support Group – from the Alzheimer’s Association
- Check local hospitals and clinics, as they often have support groups for different health conditions
- Senior and community centers often offer support groups as well. Find one in your neighborhood and inquire
- Your faith community may offer support groups too
- Recommendations from friends
