My Mom Refuses to Accept Help! Lack of Insight May Be the Reason

Sarah was always an independent, brilliant, engaged woman. Her sons joyfully share stories of how growing up their home was welcoming and where everyone hung out.

She was a whiz in the kitchen, the best homework helper, perpetually punctual, and appeared to be in more than one place at once when her active children had conflicting activity schedules. These attributes continued well into her 80s with family gatherings, church activities, community engagement, and volunteer work.

Changes That are Out of Character. But something appeared to have changed not long after Sarah’s husband, Richard, passed away. While she was noticeably shaken and grieving the loss, she was frequently repeating herself, disengaged from her usual activities, and barely eating. She was unaware of the changes. This was out of character for her. …

Parents Reluctant to Spend Money on Their Own Care

Reluctance to spend money is often one of the top barriers to getting parents the help they need. And money discussions can be uncomfortable, especially with our parents.

Our parents have worked hard. They’ve invested wisely and saved diligently. And now, when they may need it most, they refuse to spend the money they’ve saved on themselves.

This is a common dilemma for many families. A parent who needs and can benefit greatly from support in their home or by moving to a supportive living environment says “No!” to the idea. …

Planning to “retire” from driving

Did you know that we usually outlive our ability to drive safely by six to ten years? As we age, we naturally modify how we drive to address physical changes: Stiff joints, poor vision, slow reflexes. But a time will come when it’s simply unwise to continue behind the wheel.

We do plenty of planning and preparation before retiring from work. Similarly, it’s smart to take a moment and consider the probability that you may not be driving your last few years. How can you retire from driving without giving up an active life? …

Uncertainty is Scary. Uncertainty Might Be Why Your Parent is Resisting A Move.

Uncertainty is scary. When we encounter uncertainty and change, the sympathetic nervous system is often engaged. This is what triggers “flight or fight.”

When a threat is perceived, we have a stress response. Conversations about change, like a move to a retirement community, can be that stressor, that trigger. …

Why Change is Harder As We Age

We humans are hardwired to routine. We like things to be predictable. Change IS hard. And change is harder as we age.

During the COVID-19 pandemic we’ve learned a lot about change. It is inevitable. Our brains can quickly go on overload when the world is evolving at such a rapid pace. We’ve had to change too many things at once. It’s difficult. Uncomfortable.  …

Six Steps to Prevent a Fall (and injury)

It’s Falls Prevention Awareness Week. With Fall officially starting this Wednesday, it’s a great reminder to review the common causes of falls as well as what we can do to lower our risk, prevent injury, and stay out of the emergency department.

A recent national poll on healthy aging conducted by the University of Michigan suggests that the COVID-19 pandemic may have contributed to a decline in physical activity and functioning among older adults. Declines in physical condition and mobility can increase the risk for falls. …

Should It Stay or Should It Go? Making Peace with Our ‘Stuff’

The popularity of books such as “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” and programs like “Tidying Up with Maria Kondo” have many of us rethinking our possessions and living environments. The idea of organizing, downsizing or “rightsizing” takes on a particular urgency if we are anticipating helping our parents prepare for a move to a senior living or long-term care community.

It can be anxiety-provoking to contemplate how you will help your parents organize their belongings and move from a single-family home or condo to an apartment or room. The challenge might even cause you to ignore or delay the issue all together.

Aging Wisdom is Celebrating a Birthday, OURS!

“A team is not a group of people that work together. A team is a group of people that trust each other.” ~ Simon Sinek

Happy Birthday to us! Eighteen years ago today, Lisa Mayfield launched Aging Wisdom as a solo practitioner in care management.

Aging Wisdom started with the vision of helping individuals and families navigate unexpected health changes and crises, as well as to help guide families to common ground when they might not agree on the best approach to supporting an older loved one. …

Seven Signs an Older Loved One May Need Help

Having concerns about a loved one’s well-being, especially when they are older, is normal. Have you noticed some changes? Is there something that seems off or unusual, perhaps atypical to your loved one’s usual demeanor, behavior, or personality?

Changes and adjustments are normal for all of us during our lifespan, but sometimes they warrant a closer look. Striking the right balance between fostering independence, respecting autonomy, and ensuring safety can be a struggle for those of us who are part of an older adult’s life. …

Age-friendly exteriors

When imagining an age-friendly house, many people think of ramps for wheelchairs and walkers. Indeed, ramps are essential—if and when they are needed. There are, however, modifications for the outside of a home that simply make daily life and basic maintenance easier. They help prevent falls by addressing the common conditions of arthritis, poor eyesight, or limited balance.

Some safety suggestions also deter thieves. …

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